Authors: JJ Dorn
Published by J.J. Dorn
Copyright 2014 J.J. Dorn
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Author does not own any rights to music mentioned in this book.
Cover Design by
Mayhem Cover Creations
Mayhem Cover Creations
To all those who have encouraged me to tell this story, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your love and support.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
I’m a survivor. I have spent months in intense physical therapy learning how to walk again. I have gone through numerous surgeries to fix my back, and currently it’s the best it has been since my accident. I have worked hard at healing my physical ailments. My surgeon tells me he is impressed with me. He can’t believe I am walking without a limp now. Sometimes I still have it but it just depends on my leg strength that day. For the most part though, I walk normal. I’m not without pain however. I have numbness in my left leg continuously and pain that runs down my lower back and the backside of my leg. It makes it hard for me to sleep most nights and it’s even harder to sit for long periods of time, but I manage.
It’s not all bad though, I lost a bunch of weight. My once curvy frame has now been replaced with a much thinner one. I might have looked like Miranda Lambert before her recent slim down, but now I look more like Carrie Underwood. I must admit I love the new skinny version of me, even though it came with a heavy price tag. I’m a new person with a new look, and today I plan to take that new look to the extreme.
Yes Mom, I’m sure.” I look at my Mom in the mirror, she seems super nervous about this decision.
The hairdresser behind me pulls my hair in a tight ponytail and I hear her cut her way through my signature long thick locks. I know my Mom isn’t a fan of this but it’s not like I am going all Sinead O’Connor, I’m just getting a cute bob.
Well you certainly have the bone structure for a bob.” The hairdresser says as she begins to cut and shape my hair.
I decided on my way to Seattle today that I needed a new look before I go back to school. I haven’t been back to Washington State University since fall break of my freshman year. I made the decision a couple of months ago to re-enroll. I missed Pullman and I missed all my friends there.
For the past year I have been taking classes at the community college at home. I thought for sure I would lose that first semester at school but somehow my Dad finagled a way to get my professors to let me take my final exams. My guess is he donated money to the school, but he refuses to confirm that suspicion.
I start school in a week. I was supposed to move into my sorority but it became clear very quickly that stairs and I don’t mix anymore, and the sorority house is full of stairs. So my parents, being the wealthy people they are, bought a house on campus. It’s not large or extravagant it’s a three bedroom, two bath, rambler. My parents have been busy remodeling because as my Mother said “it wasn’t fit for her baby.” I’m sure the house will be beautiful and I’m excited to see it finished.
The best part of this new arrangement is that my parents invited Millie to live with me. Mills is totally stoked. She has been busy picking out new Pottery Barn furniture with my Mom to decorate the house. I’m also excited that the house is on Greek row. It is only a block from the sorority and it shares an alley with the main bar on campus, The Station. I know Millie and I are going to have a blast living there.
We will take it!” My Mom tells the personal shopper who is helping us in Nordstrom.
I look into the mirror at the person staring back at me. I don’t recognize her at all. She is totally gorgeous. My platinum short hair is striking against my tanned skin and I am wearing the most beautiful black Kate Spade dress. It’s simple with clean lines that accent my new thin frame perfectly.
I love it.” I tell them.
It is just perfect Paige. Every girl needs the perfect little black dress in her closet.” My Mom looks at me adoringly.
My Mother insisted on bringing me to Seattle today to buy me new clothes before I go back to school. Most of my clothes don’t fit me anymore. I have shrunk from a size eight to a dainty size four. So I pretty much needed an entire new wardrobe. Good thing my Mother is such a skilled Nordstrom shopper.
I didn’t exactly plan on giving myself a complete makeover. It just kind of happened. When I sat down in the hairdresser chair I stared at myself thinking how much I had changed, I decided in the moment it was time to get drastic and get a fresh new look. If I was going to return to school and face my past I needed to do it looking fierce. My Mother always said “if you are hiring or firing, breaking up or making up, you always want to look your best.” Well, I wasn’t going to be doing any of those things but I was going to come face to face with my ex, which is just as important I think. And when we do come face to face I want him to see this new me and not the once weak girl he destroyed. Before I was naive and now I am expertly aware of how cruel this world can be. I’m sure some people would say I’m bitter but I’m not. I’m just a bit jaded, and I think I have earned that right after enduring the devastation that is Cutter Daniels.
My windows are rolled down in my new Dodge truck and I breathe in the fresh Eastern Washington air as I cross the Columbia River. My parents insisted on buying me a truck instead of a car. My Mother said she felt safer with me in a large vehicle so they bought me a dark blue Dodge Ram 1500 longhorn edition with saddle leather seats and the quad cab, it’s totally freaking awesome. I have been on the road a little over four hours in my new truck and I love it. I have another two hours to go before I get to Pullman. Miley Cyrus blares through my speakers singing about coming in like a wrecking ball and I sing along at the top of my lungs. I’m not really a Miley fan but the girl can sing about heartbreak so she is currently at the top of my playlist along with Adele and Sam Smith.
My parents didn’t want to let me drive back to school on my own but after a sufficient amount of convincing they allowed it. I needed this. I had to have these hours to think and get my head on straight before I go back to the place that holds so many memories of Cutter and me. I know that I shouldn’t think of him, but I can’t help it. For the past year and half I have been working like crazy to heal myself physically, but I have ignored my emotional wounds. I have shoved my feelings for Cutter way down deep into the far corners of my heart, and I pray that is where they will stay.
I truly don’t know how I will react when I see him and just the thought makes me agitated. The only time I have seen him since the accident was at the fair last year. He was in the dairy barn with Jasper. When he saw me he had only starred at my cane, refusing to look at me at all. When I started walking toward him he quickly got up and left. That had pretty much answered my question as to whether or not he would say something to me. He hates me and probably always has. He thinks I killed his Dad. In a way maybe I did. My rational mind knows I was just a small child that was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but the other part of me says I am responsible. In so many ways I don’t blame Cutter for hating me, I would probably hate me too.